maybe it's me. but i have been feeling really useless for reasons i can't explain. i'm too naive? i had always thought our sister school members would be really supportive and i thought i could convince. i was SO wrong. it's either me, or they can't be bothered. i just felt totally invisible.

asking around all the other schools, classmates, friends, seniors, i just get rejected time and again.
'coz it's you' they say. 'coz you existed' if so, how i wish i never did exist. if it would do the band better, do our sales better for our last concert, the sec 4s' last concert with RIMB, i'd rather not exist then. It's really not about the number of tickets i sold or matthew or the sec 3s are selling, but the people i ask and the percentage of rejected replies. of course, it's all part of reality. but somehow, someway, stuff are getting to my head.


were they glaring at me?




=(

half the year has passed. I must say the half that remains is to be as much a challenge as was the first.

the half in review:
March-- play. realised many mistakes i had made as a leader. too serious too often? i was told pep talks don't work out. but i saw something totally different that night. get the guys in the mood, they can perform.
April 16th -- syf 07. GOLD. i'm very proud of them. it was a memorable performance. the last competition performance with our band, my dear batch. It wasn't remarkable true. but it was much of an improvement from when we took over. credit really goes to my batch-- their efforts with the sections.
May-- ORA. at least some progress for RE. we've been lagging. tennis tournament, syf. things have started to pick up. we'll see it maintain, right guys?
June-- friday we leave for malaysia and in the period of close to a month, i've seen the band(most of it) put in genuine effort. effort that i feel have paid off. Snowcaps isn't exactly complete. but it has been a feat to have achieved this much in such a short time. and my many thanks to neo. We've had our fair share of troubles and arguments, but i guess i haven't been carrying a fair share of the weight the concert planning entails. we're running behind. the commitees have just been set up so, dead lines set. let's meet them


the half to come...
june-- m'sia trip for performance at their national high school band finale. we might have missed presentation syf 07. but it is our honour to be invited by the Ministry of Education Malaysia to guest perform at their finale. preparations for the trip have also been pretty rushed considering the notice we had. but i guess everything's going smoothly.
july-- concert. birthday x) our last concert with RIMB as a batch. we do not know how many of us will join rjcsb. let this be our best remembered performance.



...second half. term 3. madness? we'll get to see soon.




tiill next time

that part of my life is over. no one can bring it back again. no one.

thanks guys, for making this such a wonderful day. today, you guys showed what we are made of, and what we can achieve. you've shown what truly belongs to this band. RIMB. though it's the first time we're doing the piece with mr oura, i can say you guys did veryvery well. for a first time, to have this standard would mean to reach the skies at syf. show me.show mr oura and show the school. although sunRISE [no more sunshine, i promise] was very well done, safari has muchto be improved. but for your effort, thank you. what made me really happy was what mr oura said. "you can join the competition tomorrow." it might have been a small group of people he said that to, but it definitely means alot. it means that this band has the potential in it. we just have to find it. veryvery good. i'm glad, hopefully, that you guys have started to wake up and make MUSIC. do the same thing for our choice piece and i'm sure we'll reach it. every practice if like today's would then bring us that much closer, so much closer to that peak. the PEAK, that we havne't reached in a long time. SHOW ME. show yourselves, prove to yourselves, that you guys are more than what you appear to be. to my section sec 1s, though it's going to take alot of catching up on the basics, i have confidence in you all. it can be hard, i can be really harsh, but it all boils down to you guys. andy, keep it up. must improve much more. brandon, continue to strive and you'll get it. rui tao, just be a BIT more serious and you'llbe alot better. see, you scored a goal today! unstoppable. RIMB. we SHOULD we MUST we CAN we WILL. this is NOT going to be a one off thing like it has many times. it's going to last.



great, blk 9 to 6 to 2 to 4 and tofinally reach, then it's locked. fate?

finally understand what it means to push ourselves, myself, to the limit already. today i experienced it. hmmm... 3 sets of 20 push-ups, 20 crunches and 5 compass start jumps plus a little bit of running running isn't difficult. but somehoweven before we couldfinish the third set the band was dying. and i didn't feel it until i told neo to take drills and i fell in. MAN, luckily matthew decided that we need not do drills.

youknow those kind of circumstances where everything in front of you just turns black then you cut out everything. like there's air muffling the sounds that reach your ear and you get just really really cold. yeah. fainting spells. thanks to matthew if not i would have fainted... so would have others. pushing to the limit. i never expected mine to be so low. but i don't know what was up with me today. i had to sit there for full 10 mins. darn. so lousy. i couldn't even walk straight back to the band room la wth. damn. 30mins through sectionals couldn't blow properly. >.<" sometimes, things just don't go your way. NEVER do all the pt and stuff when you've had a break for 3 weeks. and you're in the midst of construction. woohoo. good thing that whole feelign disappeared once we started set piece. i still feel cold though, doesn't help that the section's sitting next to the podium where strong wind just blows in. the limit.



physcially, i reached alimit today. musically, rimb's limits are beyond the horizon. 4 months. 4more months. hard work, commitment. that's all i'm asking for now. show me that i can know no limits to how much we can achieve.

haven't updated in awhile. things have been quite fine lately. mmm... attended crescent's musical evening on the 27th nov [i think]. well it was pretty good i guess. the band, gimmicks and all. haha entertaining. caspar's jokes. wraped up to a wonderful night. oh yeah, the modern dances were pretty good. the idea of lightsticks in the dark as little bees, not bad. well, caspar had a chance to be slightly closer to `ahem`.eventful i'd say and found out he knows christian too. lol. small world really.

30th nov attended lights cameras and [blah] by combined production by acsi,acjc + ib. it was absolutely fantastic. well not perfect. but i enjoyed it. jerald and lucas, 2months. acjc's trumpets are gay. lol. the idea of stereo surround, not bad. and i had certain people looking at me. man, i don't like scandals, rumous whatever.then yeap, great night again. sadly it dragged pretty much and had to rush home to prepare for taiwan.


8 days in taiwan, nowi'm back. taiwan's peaceful and nice. the kind of news we hear are but a portion of the country's matters. overall had a great trip. no wonder even ada, nanyang bm and mervin went there. hahaha. i actually met mervin on the return flight. not bad. smallsmall world[reminds me of that nicenice piece]. saeka i ju yo...nvm.


so i returned on the 8th and attended chijtp's + st marg's concert @ cjc. ALWAYS keep a low profile. better than getting your name shouted. ok, friendly i guess. anw, the concertwas alright. their sec1s are far better than ours. rimb sec 1s wake up from your state of mind please!. and well, yeah.

yesterday attended saf military band's in-harmony 22. guest conductor douglas bostock! he rocks seriously. there were a number of nco people attending that concert. if i'm not wrong, saw the bassoon guy, bass clar girl, geraldine(?) [aes], alexa [st. hilda's], oboe guy, pohyih [nan chiau], gary [temasek] and ian[sji]. hahha saw jeremy with his two girl-friends. concert was a blast. literally. loud. clear. sonourous. musical. stylish. classical. amazing i didn' get bored with the classical-ness. lol, nice word. ok so, douglas bostock, damn, nice style. not surprising second principal conductor for tokyo kosei. never really expected saf band to be that good but of course, they proved me wrong of my previous judgements. the cor anglais, the oboe. bunch of shen2 people. neo, if the whole stage of performers yesterday are your disciples, you'd be reaching your end. lol.

rimb needs these concerts, and no one bothers going for them. it's a pity.





i updated.

should i stop posting...=(

caught the movie last night. it's not 3 stars. the lessons i took away form it are definitely worth much more than the ratings people give. HELLO!! start looking into movies. i'm not a critic but happy feet is really worth watching. for those reading, this is NOT a movie review. i tookaway many things last night [besides feeling cold] i realized how sometimes though we might be verydifferent from others, to never give up that difference. it's what makes you special. there are times we're left out of a crowd or we just can't fit in but when we believe we must hold it strong. strong enough to let go of things, make sacrifices. strong enough to push you to the limits and never stop trying. strong enough to convince.


RIMB, you must hold a belief. a belief that we can reach the best in syf 2007. a belief that is strong enough to bring us there.







you need not fanciful words to convince. you just need a spirit.